I couldn’t find my name tag. You know, those corporate name tags that open all the doors, just like magic – to get into the building, to your desk, to and from the coffee machine in the common area?
I had checked in my computer bag, on the floor, at front desk, in the washroom – no where to be seen!
¨Excuse me…¨, I began, after knocking on my co-teacher’s door. I peered in. There it was, on the table, ¨Ah-ha! You’ve got both!¨
We all laughed — two teachers and the student who was having her one-on-one class with my colleague.
¨Hey, I heard you adopted two children.¨, I began,as I saw who the student was.
My co-teacher graciously invited me to come in and have a seat. She saw the conversation was just getting started.
Three mothers. Three situations. A heart-to-heart exchange.
- an adoptive mother with an elementary-age girl and boy.
- a biological mother with two preschool-age sons.
- an adopted other with two adult-age sons.
Abandonment vs adoption.
Nature vs nurture.
Adoption vs biological.
Crisis and triumph.
Laughter and tears.
United around a same purpose: encouraging and empowering each other to be better women and mothers to create a better life for our children.
¨What a remarkable encounter!,¨I mused, as I got in my car to leave that day.
Adopted or biological, parent or child, each person has their genetic background and accumulation of experiences growing up.
Individual perceptions and interpretative thought processes vary, as widely as do the personalities and termperaments. But what do we do with those life ingredients is entirely up to us as humans with a free will. The final product represented by our name tag is up to our own personal discretion.
As an adoptee, my ‘name tag’ was changed at birth. For a long time, I often labeled myself as ‘adopted’. However, I have a name: Claire Maria Ford. And our conversation as three women together let me realize a happy conclusion: I am leaving behind the label and assuming my name; after all, the ‘product’ behind the name tag is up to me to develop and define.
I am more than adopted. And amazingly enough, each individual is more than the label they may carry: divorced, gay, single, bullied, adhd. Each individual has a name, and a reality to develop and define.
You are not a label, you have a name. So, what does your name tag stand for? Assume it and enjoy it!
(Photo: Shutterstock/Syda Productions)