Have you connected today?

People matter.

With those two words, American psychologist, Chris Peterson, summarized his life research on how to enable people to go from surviving to thriving, discovering and pursuing what really what makes life worth living for them. 

In the Huffington Post Canadian edition today, publishes a video with the astounding title: The most connected generation is now also the loneliest. The ten-minute video draws the portrait of a society gone screen-happy and heart-sad.

The ten-minute video draws the portrait of a society gone screen-happy and heart-sad.

A humorous, but also thought-provoking, Ted Talk by Chris Nice, entitled A Funny Look at the Unintended Consequences of Social Media describes the side-effects of our modern society that lives in a more screen-to-face than face-to-face fashion. He ends with the startling statement: The true question is not whether technology is scary; the true question is how human are you ?

The ture question is not whether technology is scary; the true question is how human are you? – Chris Nice

In other words, the problem is not the technology, the problem is the user. Just pause for a moment to observe people walking down the sidewalk or shuffling along at your local shopping center to see how true that really is. Couples spend together time walking side by side, but both checking their phones obsessively. Mothers (or fathers) jabber animatedly on their phones while their son or daughter whimpers or whines for attention in vain. No need to go on, you’ve been there and seen that, too.

The problem? Not connecting. The solution? Get together, connect. Have you connected today? If not, read on!

The following are a few synonyms for event and some ways to make an invitation

The Event

A supper (or dinner) – some people over for an evening meal.

Gathering –        usually a larger crowd, more likely in a public venue.

Party (or house party) – some people over to chill at your house.

Pow-wow –        more informal, more fun (think barbecue, or pool party).

House party –    an evening event at home with food, drink and lots of music!

Social –               an organized event probably at a public venue.

Celebration –     a group of invited people in a public or private venue to celebrate a special event (think birthday, anniversary, graduation).

The Invite

  • What do you have anything going on this weekend?
  • Do you have any plans for Thursday after work?
  • We’re having a party on Friday evening. Can you come?
  • Let’s meet up!
  • Do you want to get together on Saturday?  

Now you – or rather, we (since I, the Inveterate Introvert, include myself here) have the means to make our weekend a live event, as opposed to a virtual one!

By the way, these lists are by no means exhaustive. What’s your favorite way to call a get-together or make an invitation?

Cheers, and keep learning!

Claire :O)

References: Chris Peterson video: https://youtu.be/DRiIAqGXLKA; Huffington post video: https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/ retrieved on June 20 2019; Chris Nice TedTalk: https://www.ted.com/talks/chuck_nice_a_funny_look_at_the_unintended_consequences_of_technology?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare; Photo credit: photo id#300361952/Shutterstock]

How are you today?

Any student of mine knows that my priority in class is their well-being, which is why classes usually begin with: How are you? How’s your day going? What’s new and exciting?

I’m sure that most teachers would agree that a happy student is a learning student (at least, more likely to be learning student!)

So coming across one of Martin Sellgman’s latest books, Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being (Atria, NY, USA, 2011) was a fascinating find. In this book, Seligman describes the research and explains the principles behind his innovative theory of Positive Psychology.

Today I thought I’d share three takeaways from his exciting work.

  1. Optimism can be learned.

What does that mean? Let me give you an example, when dogs were exposed to electric shocks and were unable to control them, they learned that they had no control over their circumstances. However, if they were given the means to control the shocks, they would and therefore avoided potential shocks.  Similarly, we as humans learn at a very young age whether we have any control over our environment or not. Unfortunately, if we feel we have no impact no matter what we do, we will have a tendency to experience feelings of helplessness and depression.

However, the good news is: if we learned helplessness, then we can unlearn it, and take control of our reactions to our circumstances, thereby choosing optimism. Maybe you weren’t good at using verb tenses in English. You are not doomed to perish in a tenseless existence! You can learn. The question is not: Why do I have to learn these when I’m useless?, but rather: I have a bit of difficulty in this area, but I can do something about it. What tools, tricks or resources can I use to make a bit of progress? Optimism can be learned.

2. Positive Psychology focuses on mental health (not illness).

When Seligman began his research, it was hard for him to get funding. No-one wanted to invest in this strange new idea that perhaps it would be better to focus on the positive, rather than the negative. Once he got the ball rolling, however, the money came rolling in too. In fact, today Seligman’s work is being taught in educational, military, political and corporate settings around the world.

Why? The theory doesn’t focus solely on ridding people of their mental illnesses, but more on leveraging the five ingredients proven to enhance well-being: positive emotion, engagement, relationships, meaning and achievement (thus the acronym, PERMA).

What do I mean? Let’s say you know you have a learning disability, maybe you’re dyslexic. You still remember the shame and embarrassment when a teacher told you you’d never be any good at learning English since you had no memory for grammar rules, never mind spelling irregular verbs or strange-sounding words in foreign languages.

Putting the dyslexia aside, perhaps it would be more helpful to think in terms of, I enjoy my English class with my colleagues. We have a good time. We laugh and learn together. Everyone makes jokes and it certainly makes for a terrific break from the humdrum of my regular work! That’s an example of positive emotion. Perhaps just that will help motivate you to continue taking classes when the going gets tough.

Or maybe the heady feeling of accomplishment, having overcome a difficulty and proven you can do it despite the odds, or for the sheer fun of it, will keep you motivated.

Whatever the means, focus on one of these elements of well-being either at work or in class, and see what difference it makes.

3. Gratitude +  Love of Learning = Well-being

Another researcher, Barry Kauffman, a peer of Martin Seligman, decided to run some tests and do the math to determine the two values that were most important to attain PERMA (link: https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/which-character-strengths-are-most-predictive-of-well-being/). He found that they were gratitude and love of learning. I love that!

How can we develop gratitude? Seligman recommends people ask themselves on a regular basis this simple question: What went well? You simple cannot remain negative when you are focusing on the positive!

The love of learning value comes into play once the list of positive events is compiled. The follow-up questions are obvious: How can I make this happen more often? What do I need to do?

Coming out of class tomorrow, either as teacher or student, ask yourself the questions: What went well? Why did it go well? How can I get more of that? What do I need to do?  No matter the misunderstandings or seemingly unsurmountable challenges, an upward spiral of optimism and hope is sure to ensue.

So, how are you? What went well for you today? Let’s keep the gratitude energy flowing! Drop me a line in the Comments section.

  • Claire :o)

[Photo: Shutterstock/fizkes]